The ultimate goal among amateur inventors when I was growing up was to invent a better mousetrap.
The spring-loaded, fingerbreaking harness on top of a flat piece of wood that was tripped when the mouse or rat nuzzled the bait and made the trap spring to crush its body with a mighty copper bar has been the industry standard almost as long as I have been alive.
The problem with these traps is that they are almost as dangerous to the setter as to the vermin for which they are intended. I have at least three broken finger bones and heaven knows how many blood blisters on the index finger of my left hand, all attained from trying to set that little bar on the bait bucket and turn it loose without getting snapped.
I am probably hell bound for the cussing I’ve done setting mouse traps.
But last year, Loretta came up with half a dozen traps that consisted of little boxes with sticky glue on the bottom. Mouse is supposed to walk in, lured by cheese, and his feet get glued to the walkway in the trap. Once caught, you take the trap and mouse and all out into the country, flick it on the grass, and said mouse has been caught and released humanely.
What a ruse.
Consider yourself a mouse. Would you rather be caught in the cheese there on the bait spring with a single snap of the trap that broke your neck and rendered instant death, or would you rather suffer, glued to a piece of cardboard and hauled out into a field, set loose with glue on all four feet, and be chomped on by the next coyote?
If I’m a mouse, I’m going for the trap every time. If I’m a mouse and I’m going to be trapped for my nuisance, then get it over with and put my carcass in the garbage.
One night, last winter, I was up late reading and I heard the most pitiful squall — meoooowwwwerrrrrrrr — and then a pounding whap whap whappp whapp, and then an “oh help me, God, death is upon me” meow and a rattle from the kitchen.
And then more whap, whap, whap, whaps against the kitchen floor.
Our cat had found a way to open the pantry closet door and stuck her foot into one of Loretta’s glue-based mouse traps and she was terrified. She had glue halfway up her pointing paw and after I washed it off, she avoids the pantry.
But there is a better mousetrap and that’s what I wanted to tell you in the first place.
And, as inventions go, this one is the best to come along in decades.
I purchased four mini trex, spring-loaded traps just weeks ago and so far I have not had a miss. You fill the bait bowl with cheese or peanut butter and literally cock them like a pistol and set them wherever mice are prone to feed.
No mashed fingers. Instant death. And ample proof that a new and effective mousetrap has been invented.
You will be amazed!