Whitesburg KY

Struttin’ Time:

Going outdoors? Yellowjackets await

If you’ll remember, I tried earlier to get Struttin’ Time readers to pay my way for a white elk hunt. For some reason, I never heard from anyone. Oh well, it was worth a try!

As you know, I went groundhog hunting last week but nearly had a stroke in the woods because it was so hot. In addition, the bugs carried me away, and on top of that I got poison ivy. I went to my doctor and she gave me a shot for the poison ivy, some suave, and sent me on my way.

I hate to be outdone by anyone or anything, so as soon as it cooled a little after the rains I drove the seven miles to the farm I have leased, loaded for anything to come my way. I had my trusted ThermaCell, my .17-caliber Savage rifle, and was not going to let anything stop me from getting a groundhog.

Well the moon, sun and stars must be aligned with those critters. As soon as I sat down I realized what a mistake I had made — I was on top of a yellow jackets’ nest! Down the hollow I went wide open. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to run when the yellow jackets attacked. I know better than to run if a copperhead bites, but I never had my refresher course when it comes to yellow jackets.

Well, into the farm pond I jumped. I knew I was hurt, but didn’t know just how bad. I could see the yellow jackets floating to the top of the water, drowned I supposed.

At this time my thought was that if as many yellow jackets that had drowned and floated to the top had stung me, I was really in trouble. As I walked to the bank, some were still swarming around my head. Still, I managed to walk back, got my stuff and left.

As one who believes that man is at the top of the food chain, I returned to the scene and set the yellow jackets’ nest on fire. I am here now, trying to recover from too many stings to count.

Why don’t I just stay out of the woods and enjoy the summer, you may ask. Because being alone in the woods is one way I enjoy myself.

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