Whitesburg KY
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Mostly cloudy

Struttin’ Time

Part two: The ‘truth’ about hunting

Squirrel season is now in full swing and the weather is hot and muggy. Would we have it any other way?

Once again let me thank Ralph Brown of West Liberty, a longtime Struttin’ Time reader, for the outstanding column he sent to me that was written by Richard Stamper of the Wolfe County News.

We left off last week at noon on Stamper’s description of a wild turkey hunt and that is where we will pick up today:

Noon, fire gun for help, eat wild berries. 12:15 p.m., ran out of shells, eight turkeys came back. 12:20 p.m., strange feeling in my stomach. 12:30 p.m., realized I ate poison berries. 12:45 p.m., rescued. 12:55 p.m., rushed to hospital to have my stomach pumped. 3 p.m., arrived back in camp. 3:30 p.m., leave camp to kill turkey. 4 p.m. return to camp to get shells.

At 4:01 p.m., load gun, leave camp again. 5 p.m., empty gun on noisy squirrel. 6 p.m., arrive back at camp, see turkeys grazing. 6:01 p.m., load gun. 6:02 p.m., fire gun. 6:03 p.m., one dead pickup. 6:05 p.m., hunting partner returns to camp carrying turkey. 6:06 p.m., repress strong desire to shoot partner. 6:07 p.m., fall into fire. 6:10 p.m., change clothes, throw burned ones into the fire. 6:16 p.m., take pickup, leave partner and his turkey in the woods. 6:25 p.m., pickup boils over.

At 6:26 p.m., start walking. 6:30 p.m., stumble and fall, drop gun in the mud. 6:35 p.m., meet bear. 6:36 p.m., take aim. 6:37 p.m. fire gun, blow up barrel (plugged with mud) 6:38 p.m., mess pants. 6:39 p.m., climb tree. 9 p.m., bear departs, wrap gun around tree. Midnight, home at last.

Again thanks, Mr. Ralph Brown, for sharing this with us. It did just what Struttin’ Time is supposed to do — let us escape from the real world, laugh, and forget what a terrible world we live in right now.

Until next week, please be safe.

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