At the risk of reading a lot — and I mean a LOT — into one cautionary little tale, today we examine a recent article in The New York Times: “A Surprising Risk for Toddlers on Playground Slides.”
Turns out that extremely loving, extremely cautious parents who, rather than let their kids navigate the slide on their own, put them on their laps and let gravity do its thing are, accidentally, breaking their children’s legs.
Yes, “helping” the kids actually makes the slide experience less safe. Kids are getting their legs stuck and twisted and even broken because, says the story, “if a foot gets caught while the child is sliding alone, he can just stop moving or twist around until it comes free. But when a child is sitting in an adult lap, the force of the adult’s weight behind him ends up breaking his leg.”
Now, I am of at least two — possibly even 3.5 — minds about this story. First off, of course, I am a little smug about the news that helicoptering doesn’t help kids. The fact that kids have been going down slides alone since Danny slid down his dinosaur should have been evidence enough that modest inclines and moppets are a good mix. But we live in a culture that loves to demand ever-more involvement on the part of parents, so a lot of folks got the idea that good moms and dads are the ones who put down the “Fifty Shades of Grey” and go “whee!” with perhaps more enthusiasm than they feel. Now they are off the hook.
On the other hand (we are now onto mind No. 2), this article also makes it seem as if the parent-kid playground combo is the slippery slope to hell and that slides are even more dangerous than anybody ever imagined. And considering we already imagined them as so dangerous that regulations require them to be no taller than the average mound of laundry (or is that just at my house?), this is another blow to playground fun.
And here’s mind No. 3: The fact that this issue merited an entire article in the hard copy of The New York Times — space that is disappearing faster than Happy Meal fries — is just another example of our obsession with every little thing that has to do with parenting. As if every hour of time with children is fraught with the potential for developmental leaps or horrifying danger. When really what we’re talking about is an afternoon at the playground.
And now for the .5: One point the article made is that “the damage is not merely physical. ‘The parents are always crushed that they broke their kid’s leg and are baffled as to why nobody ever told them this could happen,’ Dr. (Edward) Holt said. ‘Sometimes one parent is angry at the other parent because that parent caused the child’s fracture. It has some real consequences to families.’”
In a nutshell (and I do mean nut), here are my final thoughts:
1) Parents are baffled that nobody ever told them every single thing that could possibly go wrong in any situation? That’s one reason we are so litigious; we expect every activity to be perfect every time, and if it’s not, we are so angry that we want to blame someone (else). Not fate. Someone.
2) Though I can totally see being angry with the spouse who broke my kid’s leg, I can also see moving on. Getting over it. Realizing it could have been I. Lasting consequences seem a bit dramatic for an injury that, the article says, the children recover from in four to six weeks without “lasting com- plications” (except, of course, for the divorce).
3) And, in defense of the article and the author, maybe the piece actually did perform a public service. Hoopla aside, now you know:
Let your kid go solo down the slide.
I think I’m done.